Thank you to any and all of you that responded to the call put up by my last post. I’m happy to report that enough money was raised for Michelle to move and start over and that is a very good thing. There are some things that are so much more important than knitting and taking care of one of our own is definitely at the top of the list. So thank you.

My world has been very busy and crazy lately which is keeping me away from the blog more than I would like, but sometimes this is the way life goes. There are big changes ahead, and I hope to be able to share them with you very soon. For now, know that we are fine and just trying to sort our way through each day.

In the meantime, what I can tell you is that our sweet little bunny Stitches will be going in for surgery to remove her latest tumor on Feb. 14th. It continues to grow and the alternative to surgery is not one that we think is in her best interest at the moment, so we’re giving surgery one more shot. If you could send her some love that day, a day that should be full of love, we’d all be very grateful. I’m praying that this will be the end of cancer for my sweet little girl who turns three on Monday.

In other news, as you may have heard, we’ve been getting quite a bit of “weather” in the northeast lately.

We’ve been in various parts of NJ for about 5 years and this is the most snow we’ve ever had. For reference, I’m nearly 6 feet tall and that pile was darn near taller than me. We’ve had some freezing rain and such since then so the piles are lower, but it’s really getting to the point that I have no idea where we’re going to put it if we get much more without some good melting. And it’s only the beginning of February! Crazy!! I’m just glad that I’m able to help more with it this year than I was last year. I’m also happy to report that something I was deathly afraid of last year, falling, has already been accomplished once this year with no harmful effects other than a few days of soreness.

It seems that when the weather is at its worst, I turn to playing with color to brighten my world. The dyepots have been busy lately!

And since February is a hard month for many of us, Zarzuela’s Fibers is having a CONTEST!!!

February is a month of love so let me hear your favorite love story! It can be yours, it can be someone else’s, it can be real or fiction. Doesn’t matter! Write it up and post it in the Zarzuela’s Fibers Ravelry group in the “Share The Love contest” thread. Each story posted will receive an entry into the contest and the winner (chosen at random) will get 8 oz. of fiber dyed in the colorway of their choice! One entry per person please!

As an additional bonus, if you help me spread the word you can be entered in an additional contest to receive free shipping on your next order! Post about the contest on Twitter, Facebook, Plurk, Ravelry or your blog, make sure I see the post (email me at Zarzuelasfibers [at] gmail with a direct link if you don’t think I saw it) and you’ll have a chance to win for each posting! It’s that easy!

Contest ends Feb. 14th (of course!)

Winners announced on Feb. 15th.

Good luck! And make sure you Share the Love!!

THROWING UP THE KNIT SIGNAL

I’m interrupting the usual blog fodder for something far more important. I just found out that a friend has fallen on VERY tough times. She’s about to loose her house and she has a little kid. I can assure you that this is a legit situation. I’ve met Michelle personally and have spent time with her at various fiber events. She is an incredibly sweet soul. I knew that she was a single Mom and I had a feeling she wasn’t having an easy go of it, but I had no idea things had gotten this bad.

So please, if you can, go over to Tina’s very well worded blog post, read about the situation and donate what you can. And if you simply can’t donate (’cause lord knows with the world the way it is right now it just isn’t possible for all of us), please spread the word through twitter, facebook, ravelry, plurk or whatever way you can. Help another knitter get a fresh start. You’ll be doing a very, very good thing.

This is the hardest post I’ve ever had to write, but I’m writing it because I think I need to. It’s a form of therapy. Get the tissues. You’re going to need them. I know I do.

After a long day of driving on Tuesday after the snow storm we arrived home to find our upstairs neighbors had shoveled their side of the driveway onto ours. We parked in the street and went inside to check on the kids before we started to shovel.

Simba didn’t greet us at the door like she usually does. She got about halfway and just laid down. I immediately knew something was wrong. I tried to get her to come to her food dish but she walked like a drunk, got about halfway and just laid down again. When I picked her up she purred while I held her and scratched her. She just felt like a sack of potatoes in my arms though. We called our pet sitter who said she’d been eating and drinking fine all weekend but the only thing she did notice that was odd was that Simba hadn’t come to the door like she usually did when she arrived that morning.

I called the vet to schedule an appointment for the next day. I didn’t think I had an emergency at that point but before I got off the phone the person on the other end told me that the difference in cost between bringing her then and tomorrow was only $40. When I got off the phone I noticed she seems like she had a dry mouth thing going on. I got one of the needle-less syringes we used with the bunny and tried to give her some water. That’s when I noticed that her color was all wrong and she was slightly dark around the mouth.

I rushed her to the vet and hit a possum on the way which sent me into hysterics. I called HWJF who was trying to clear the driveway to check and make sure the poor thing was dead. It was.

We figured we might have to leave Simba overnight so I thought I would just take her alone. They triaged her as soon as I got there. While I filled out the paperwork the woman I talked to on the phone came to find me and told me she was glad I brought her in. She had just had a cat with similar symptoms and it really needed help so she was glad I brought Simba in. She also assured me not to worry about the bills (we’ve paid a mint lately) and wished me luck.

After an agonizing wait the vet came in who happened to be the same vet that was there when Stitches went in for her emergency appointment. She told me Simba was definitely not well and that they needed to get blood tests and a urine sample etc. etc. but she couldn’t tell what was wrong. She also felt like she might have a mass in her belly and a kidney might be enlarged and she might be bleeding internally. I told her to do the tests.

I called HWJF to tell him and put out a call on twitter/plurk for help with the driveway. By this time it was after 10pm. He’d fallen in the driveway before I left so I was just as worried about him as Simba.

After what felt like hours the vet came back. They were barely able to get enough blood out of Simba to do one test which told them that her red blood cell count was 12. It should have been 40. They couldn’t get a catheter in her to give her fluids. She needed a blood transfusion. I told her to do it. She looked at me and told me that Simba was critical. The blood transfusion alone would be over $400. She would have to be admitted. She wasn’t going home tomorrow. It could be days of treatment. She finally told me that it was going to be thousands of dollars and there was no guarantee that they would be able to figure out what was wrong with her or that it wouldn’t reoccur if they did. I asked if she was stable. The vet said no. It was at that point that I knew we were going to loose her.

I called HWJF and told him he had to get to the vet right away. He had shoveled most of the driveway but still couldn’t get the other car out. I called everyone I knew locally to see if someone could give him a ride but no one was answering. It was after 10:30 at that point and I didn’t want to call anyone’s house. He ended up calling a cab.

I told the vet he was on the way and that I just didn’t want Simba to suffer or die alone. I asked her to let me be with her and they brought her to me. They had managed to get a line in her but it was in her back leg and I guess they couldn’t push fluids through it well enough to give them to her.

It was probably over an hour that I had her alone with me while HWJF called the cab and made his way over. I scratched her and I talked to her and sometimes she would perk up and you would have thought nothing was wrong. But I could see in her eyes that she wasn’t ok. There were several times as I stood there with her on the counter scratching her chin that she just put her head in my hand and I thought she was just going to go to sleep but she didn’t. I also watched her breathing and she’d be fine for a while but every so often a shudder would go through her. I knew she was in pain. She purred off and on. I tried to tell her how much I loved her. I thanked her for everything she’d gotten me through. And I told her that I would keep the promise that I made to her when I adopted her. I promised her then that if she was ever sick and I needed to make the decision to let her go, I would.

HWJF eventually made it. He got to spend some time with her and talk to the vet. We both knew it was the right decision.

Signing that paperwork physically hurt. I think I felt my heart break.

Simba left her body just after midnight on Wednesday with her people there with her. She was purring before the final injection. I held her head in my hands while she peacefully left this world. It was very fast. I hope it was painless. I will never forget her last moments as long as I live.

The vet said many times over that even if we had a million dollars, stopping treatment now was the right thing to do. I keep trying to remember that but I still feel like I killed my baby.

We stayed with her body for a while afterward. She looked like she’d just gone to sleep. I kept waiting for her to breathe or an ear to twitch even though I knew she was gone. It still seems so unreal.

Simba wasn’t just a cat. Everyone who ever met her could tell she was special. She greeted us at the door nearly every time we walked in the house. The last few days I have peed alone more than I have in the last nearly 9 years. My lap is cold when I sit on the couch. And while she wasn’t noisy, the house is so quiet and so empty feeling I can hardly stand it. I had no one to feed this morning when I went to work. She isn’t there when we get out of the shower. When I wake up in the morning she isn’t purring in my face. Even here, sitting at the computer writing this, she isn’t trying to get in my lap.

And how do you tell a bunny that her big sister isn’t coming home?

I kept my promise. It hurts so incredibly much right now but I owed her that last measure of dignity for everything that she gave us in her time here. I will second guess myself for years I’m sure but there is a place in me where I know I did the right thing. It’s hard to find that sometimes right now though. I love her so very much.

It’s so unfair that we’ve worked so hard to get Stitches back to health only to loose Simba so suddenly.

I’m kind of questioning why I’m even writing this, but I think I just want the world to know that Simba was here. She was loved. She loved unconditionally. She was a beautiful soul. She lit up our lives with her vibration. She mattered. She made a difference. And her people will miss her so very, very much. There just aren’t enough tears in the world.

Simba
2002-2010
Rest in peace my beautiful little girl. Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you so much.

Howdy! Long time no see! My only explanation for the radio silence is… life. It just happens. And sometimes some things need to wait. So what’s been going on the last nearly three months? Let’s start at the beginning.

The wedding. In a word, it was PERFECT. And I mean perfect. We couldn’t have asked for more. One would expect a hiccup here or there in an event of such magnitude but there wasn’t a single one. I still can’t believe it myself. It’s also hard to believe it was nearly three months ago already. We still haven’t sorted things out with the photographer so I’ll talk about it more another time, but here are a couple of pics that we were able to get from friends to give you a bit of a preview.

From the moment we pulled into town and the clouds literally began to part after nearly a week of rain, we knew we had someone smiling down on us big time. Such an amazing day that we worked so hard for. I can’t wait to tell you more when I have pictures!

The honeymoon. Totally AMAZING. Once again, we were so lucky. From the amazingly sweet flight crew that gave us free food on the way to Calgary to the incredible weather we had the whole time we were in Banff, it was just incredible. We’ve never had a “real” vacation and this was definitely just that. It also deserves it’s own blog post but will also have to wait. We certainly aren’t lacking in pictures (we took well over 1200!!) but some of the ones that I want to share I’m simply afraid to put on the ‘net without watermarks and I don’t yet have the means to do that. So hopefully soon.

After that? Things got interesting. New people moved into the apartment above us and epic plumbing issues commenced. Epic to the point of the ceiling coming down in one room and there still being a hole in it. Then our plumbing went all to hell and I spent 5 hours with the poor guy trying to get ALL THE DRAINS to drain. Finally worked out but holy heck it was nuts.

Then there have been multiple issues with our heat and theirs. Of course, their boiler is in our basement so guess who gets to deal with it? Us! Long story short, we finally recently discovered (after 2 months of on and off issues and the upstairs apt. having no heat for 5 days a week or so ago) that the chimneys are SO clogged with twigs, leaves, dirt, etc. it was causing things to go crazy. Last PSE&G dude that came to the house said “You guys could have been on the 6pm news. But you wouldn’t have been here to see it.” Carbon monoxide poisoning and/or just plain blowing up the whole house being the possibilities. And would you believe that the landlords still haven’t sent someone to finish cleaning it out? Yeah. Good times.

We did make it to Rhinebeck though, but after being in a place like Banff for the better part of 10 days? It was a bit of a let down. I was kind of surprised, but we both didn’t even go back the second day. It just wasn’t worth it. I think I may have reached a saturation point. There was nothing I really needed, there wasn’t really much “new” to be seen and it was cold. I’m hoping it was just a honeymoon hangover. I scored 2.5 beautiful fleeces though, two of which have already been processed and returned to me. Hopefully I’ll elaborate on that soon.

There have been some good things. Like winning front row tickets to a Guster concert we were already planning on going to via Twitter!

I never win anything. It was nuts! They had been having a scavenger hunt thing for tickets in each city that they were going to. We had purchased tickets in advance but when I saw that the one for NYC just happened to be right outside the building I was working in that day? I went for it and WON! Front row tickets! When we got to the venue we even managed to sell our existing tickets for nearly sticker price. And what did we find with the tickets after we opened them? PASSES TO THE AFTER PARTY!! All I could do was dissolve into a fit of giggles at that point. It was an awesome show!

And afterward we met the lead singer and thanked him for the tickets. And then got the heck out of there because we are far too awkward and old for such things.

We also had a day trip to PA to find out about a timeshare. Unfortunately we don’t have the means right now or we might have gone for it. While out and about, we went to an antiques mall. And HWJF spotted this beauty:

Yep. A CPW in amazingly good condition. I’ve wanted a wheel like this for a while, but didn’t think I’d ever get an antique one since usually the repairs necessary to make the things go far exceed my patience level. Not the case here. It’s probably been refinished, but whomever did it did it well. We took the leap despite not being able to try it there. When we got it home, the bobbin and flyer weren’t moving easily and my knowledge of these things was so limited I wasn’t sure how to fix it. A little poking around on Ravelry and some advice from those who know along with a hammer and a hockey puck (I kid you not!) and she was purring along in no time! Less than 48 hours after I brought her home I was spinning on her at a CPW meetup in Athens, NY!

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Of course, I spent many days feeling guilty for the purchase. You see, our little girl has not been well.

I went to pick her up the Monday night before we found the wheel and found a quarter sized lump on her belly near a nipple. A quite hysterical phone call to the vet later she went in the next day for diagnosis. They aspirated the tumor and things didn’t look good. Turns out the biopsy results were not conclusive to the type of tumor, but it was definitely malignant.

Stitches had surgery to remove the mass and to be spayed (a preventative measure for the future) on Nov. 22nd. She bounced back faster than you can imagine! It was pretty amazing. By Thanksgiving we had her home and she was doing really well.

All seemed to be well in the world until Dec. 11th when I got up in the morning to feed her before heading to yoga class only to find her refusing food. Completely refusing food. Even her absolute favorites like pumpkin seeds (which we usually call “bunny crack” for a reason)? No good. Back to the vet we went. She was hospitalized for the weekend but they managed to get her through a bought of G.I. Stasis which is extremely bad in rabbits. When the vet asked us if we wanted a DNR for her? I pretty much lost it. It took the better part of a week after she was released, but she’s once again back to her old self.

And I have to say, this rabbit is such a teacher. Not only has she taught us all about what it means to have a rabbit in your life, but she taught the people at the vet a thing or two as well. The shock and awe when anyone saw her (That’s a BIG rabbit!) was funny. But when they GAVE HER A BATH WITH WATER to get the diarrhea off her, well, you guys are mostly fiber people reading this so you can just imagine. Luckily they confined it to her butt so she wasn’t in total danger but I thank god I decided to go to the vet’s office for a visit that night despite a very long day. As you can imagine, she was a mess. I gave a lot of people in that office an education about what you do and don’t do with an angora rabbit that night. And after spending 1.5 hours there to get her cleaned up, it was very hard to leave her behind.

With all the vet bills, I decided I needed to get something out of the house. So I sold my Schacht Matchless to Kim. She’s happily spinning away again, my credit card is a bit happier and I’m glad that I could play a part in the rebirth of another spinner.

In the midst of it all, knitting has been both a sanctuary and a stressor. There isn’t much $$ for Christmas gifts this year so I’ve been knitting for several people. I’ve also been a bit of a baking/cooking fiend.

(Molasses Ginger Cookies. So. Freaking. Good. Seriously!)

There has been apple sauce (in the crock pot! So easy!), pies, cookies, etc. etc. I’m finally finding the joy in cooking now that I have the proper equipment thanks to the generosity of so many of our wedding guests. Can I just say that I love my Kitchenaid Mixer? And the fact that I got it in a color that matched my wedding dress?? My Mom was apparently so envious after seeing it in action on Thanksgiving that she went out and got one herself!! LOL!!

One bit of knitting that happened was very well received. This summer I took a weekend class at the local ashram in chanting the yoga sutras. Ma Bha was the instructor. I had met her when my teacher training class went to the ashram the first time. She is the sweetest, funniest thing! When she discovered I was a knitter she said something to the effect of “maybe you can make me a hat sometime”. When I found out she was coming to my studio to teach a Sanskrit workshop in November I knew I couldn’t miss it. And I suddenly remembered about the hat. It was still a bit on the damp side when I gave it to her, but she LOVED it!

What’s more, I went to the ashram unannounced this past weekend to take the morning program. Who should I run into as soon as I walked in the door? Ma Bha WEARING THE HAT! She’s definitely worthy of knitting and may find herself with another hat sometime down the road.

So… I think that pretty much catches y’all up on everything that’s been going on lately. Next time I hope to catch you up on all the stuff I’ve been knitting lately. Maybe after that this blogging thing can go back on a more regular schedule. Life will decide that I suppose.

We’re off to Maine for Christmas this year so in case I don’t get back here before then I wish you all a very happy and healthy holiday season and all the best in 2011! See you again soon!

A little story for you this morning.

I was standing on the subway, waiting for my stop as I do these days and I looked at myself in the reflection of the doorway. It looked something like this:

Only my bare hand was holding a coffee and my iPhone was in my pocket.

And I was suddenly struck by how much I had.

As I examined my reflection I took stock.

I have a warm coat. I have a ring on my finger from a man who loves me. I have enough expendable income that I can have a gadget that not only lets me make phone calls, but makes my commute more livable by playing music and podcasts and such of my choosing to entertain me. Some of which I’ve had to purchase, some of which require internet access, which I am able to have in the comfort of my own home. I have a home. I may not own it but I’m able to pay for a space where I can live and be comfortable. And on a Friday morning when I’m trekking out into the cold to go to the job that I don’t particularly love but allows me to provide myself with all of these things, I have the ability to top it all off with a cup of coffee that I didn’t have to brew and I didn’t have to grow the beans for or do anything more than swipe my debit card to obtain.

And then I thought about how many people there are in this world that don’t even have the basics of these. A roof over their head, enough to eat and proper clothing.

Why am I writing all this on what is supposed to be a knitting blog? Because I want to remember this feeling of gratitude. The next time I feel like I can’t drag myself out of my warm bed to do the work of the day or when I’m feeling angry because I’m still battling this cold or I feel like I am somehow disadvantaged because I can’t afford X, Y and Z right now I want to look back here and remember how truly lucky I am. I want to remember to look in the mirror and really see what I have rather than what I don’t have.

And I want to remember that I really do have everything I need.

Time flies I guess. So since the last post things have been busy in my world, but sadly lacking in the knitting department. Last weekend we went up to UNH for the annual Double Reed Day festivities. We were greeted by unusually warm temperatures when we arrived late Friday night and by some old and new friends on Saturday. The guest artist this year was actually my dear teacher from my days at Yale, Frank Morelli.

If you’ve any interest in the bassoon you really must check out some of his recordings. Amazing stuff. He joked with me that I’d be getting everything I learned in 2 years at Yale in 90 min. but there were no refunds. He always has a singular wit and definitely knows his way around a bassoon. It was good to catch up and get a refresher course, that’s for sure.

After bassoon day we were lucky enough to be invited to dinner at one of the professor’s houses where we had an amazing meal and more good conversation with friends. When we finally tore ourselves away we headed for our favorite city, Portland Maine to spend the rest of the weekend. Sunday morning I took a great yoga class at the Portland Yoga Studio. It was a great space and while the style of yoga that was taught in the class (Iyengar) is much different than what I usually practice (Vinyasa), I really enjoyed the class. I also got to have a nice chat with the owner about the yoga scene in the area and opportunities for teaching. We met up with HWJF’s parents for lunch in the afternoon in Freeport and I got my LLBean fix. After a lovely day with them we returned to Portland for an amazing sushi dinner at our favorite sushi place. And then it started to snow.

By Monday morning there was a foot on the ground. We felt much more like we were in Maine after the mild temps and lack of snow! We went back downtown to do a couple of things after we got checked out and saw the MLK day parade go by.

Yep. That’s the parade. About 75 people walking behind 1 police car. If I’d had a wider lens I probably could have gotten the whole parade in one shot. Still, good of them to come out in the snow and do their thing while chanting “We shall overcome”. The crowd wasn’t exactly ethnically diverse either. I think I love Portland even more just for this.

On the way home we stopped to visit friends who have 8 month old triplets (that’s a lot of babies!) and another friend who has a new love in his life. I seriously feel like we did almost nothing but eat on this trip! I tried to finish the vespergyle mittens in the car.

Didn’t quite make it though. Still have one thumb left to go but it’s so fidely that I just can’t face it right now.

In the meantime I’ve been working on these:

For HWJF of course. Plain stockinette socks are good for my soul right now because I’m going through a major change. Yesterday was my last day of work in my Manhattan office. The move to Long Island City Queens has finally gone through and we will all report to the new building on Tuesday. We are working at other sites in the meantime (because god forbid they should send us home on paid leave [yes I am bitter]). Cleaning out my desk yesterday it suddenly struck me that I never expected to be doing that to move to a new building. I thought it would happen because of a new job. Sadly, that is not the case right now.

I know that in the current world I should just be grateful to have a job and I am. But the new situation will increase my travel by 30 min. each way (and I’ll have to take 4 different trains. yes 4. that’s not a typo) and will more than likely make getting to some of the yoga classes I need to complete my training requirements difficult. I’m also spending another $89/mo. on commuting expenses because I now need a monthly subway pass. Obviously, these are certainly 1st world problems and nothing compared to what is going on in Haiti right now (by the way, I’m donating 50% of the proceeds of sales of my Piscean Socks pattern to Haiti relief right now) but they do make life as I know it less pleasant. If I loved my job it would be one thing, but I don’t.

For right now, we need to get through October 3rd (the wedding). After that, all bets are off. I’m ready for more changes when the time comes.

In the meantime, here are a few pictures I’ve taken since the last time I posted.

Have a wonderful weekend!

I thought it might be fun to look back on my last decade as I’ve read on a few other blogs. I’ll try to keep it short and sweet.

2000
Started the year breathing a sigh of relief that the world didn’t come crashing down (remember that whole Y2K thing) and auditioning for grad schools. Managed to get into Ohio State and Yale but Yale turned out to be cheaper. Go figure. Graduated from my undergrad.

My graduation present was a trip to Disney for my parents, myself and my then boyfriend. Spent a week there and it was awesome! Moved to New Haven in the fall and was totally overwhelmed. My Dad’s mother died 4 days after classes started. Sort of sent my world into a tailspin of depression that would follow me for a while.

2001
Made it through my second semester and successfully auditioned for and won a job with the Air Force band in Newport News, VA. Ending up turning it down because A) they wouldn’t let me wait to make a decision until my boyfriend re-auditioned (he didn’t get in anyway) and B) I figured if one year at Yale could do that for me what would two do (was apparently still in idealistic phase)? I think we bought my contrabasson in the spring. Did a couple of summer programs that year. Moved to studio apartment on the outskirts of New Haven that I loved for the year. Started doing a lot of freelance work in CT.
About a week into my second year 9/11 happened. We had no idea what was going on that day. I still had a receipt for buying course books that day until recently. People mentioned things throughout the day but none of it seemed to make sense. When I got home around 5pm that night there were several messages on my answering machine (yeah, not so much with the cell phone yet) wondering where I was (a few of my friends weren’t too sure how close to NYC New Haven was) and when I turned on the TV it all began to sink in. I remember crying a lot. And the next day having a special meeting at school to tell us where all our teachers were since many of them had hefty travel schedules both at home and abroad.

2002
Started working for the Yale music library as part of my coursework (I guess I started to realize the orchestra thing probably wasn’t going to happen after a couple of auditions). Took some auditions. Took harp lessons my final semester (that was pretty cool). Survived my final recital. Graduated from Yale with my 1st Master’s Degree.

Decided to apply to library school. Got into every one that I applied to but decided to stay in CT since the boyfriend was going to be going to Yale that fall and I was told I could continue to work at the Yale Music Library. Decided to move in with the boyfriend that fall. Spent the summer going to bassoon camp, then the IDRS conference, then Banff.

Broke up with the boyfriend of 5 years just before we moved in together. Couldn’t afford to break the lease so we lived together for 9 months. Fun times. Started library school in the fall full time, working at Yale part time and freelancing A LOT. Simba comes into my life shortly after school starts.

At the end of the year decided that something had to give and dropped down to part time with the library school stuff.

2003
Still living with the ex until the end of the school year. Sort of lost my mind with my new found freedom. Went to my first MLA meeting. Enjoyed being able to practice and play without taking lessons for a while. Went to bassoon camp, IDRS and back to Banff that summer. HWJF tells me I met him at camp this year but I wouldn’t talk to him. I have no memory of that!

Move into my own place outside of New Haven in the fall and can finally sleep through the night. Continue to go to library school, mostly online at this point, work at the library and freelance but the economy is starting to suffer and so are the gigs. I believe this is when I started going to the New Haven knitting group. It was a good time but a lonely time.

2004
Pretty much more of the same. Wishing I was graduating from library school but still have a year to go. Went to bassoon camp and really met HWJF for the first time (in my mind) but he’s still got a girlfriend at home.

Really start getting into knitting at this point and with the encouragement of my new found knitting group finally realize that I can indeed make garments that fit a human being. Start my first blog on November 8th at the urging of some of said friends despite the fact that it’s my thesis semester and I don’t think I’m going to keep up with it at all (HA!). I start learning how to knit socks around this time too. I’m also practicing yoga at a local studio several times a week at this point.

2005
I get to go to another MLA Meeting, this time in beautiful Vancouver and I start interviewing for jobs with the end of my degree in site. I am diagnosed with hypoglycemia around this time and start changing my diet. I get to meet Debbie Stoller in April and have her sign next to my picture in her SnB Nation book (yes, I’m in the book). I manage to finish my degree and choose not to walk at graduation. I head off to bassoon camp in May and this time it looks like HWJF and I are both free to see where things take us. I also go with my Dad and his sisters to take my Grandfather to the WWII memorial in Washington D.C.

Shortly thereafter I interview for a job at the University of Maryland which I end up getting but turn down. And then I start packing since my apartment complex is taken over by a company that does not allow pets. I visit HWJF at the music camp he’s working at in Maine, my first trip to the state since I was a kid. A month later he takes me on a whirlwind tour of Boston, and I mean ALL of Boston in a DAY that gave me a blister I will never forget. I move in August. I go back to Maine again before HWJF comes back to CT for the fall. I’m still looking for a job and have several interviews. I witness my first shooting on my way to work one day. Hurricane Katrina hits. I’m the maid of honor in my BFF’s wedding in Pittsburgh.

In October I get the news that I’ve been hired for the position I still hold today. Massive shopping ensues. I attend my first Rhinebeck. I cry a lot on my last day at Yale despite promising myself that I won’t and the long commute routine begins. Shortly after I get my job, HWJF takes his position and moves to the Princeton NJ area while still coming back to CT to teach during the week. I spend a lot of weekends in NJ. There’s a transit strike in NYC right around Christmas.

2006
HWJF takes me to my first UNH bassoon day and I start knitting him his first pair of socks (and thereby create a monster! ). I join the knitting Olympics and do my first fair isle knitting. I get to go to Graceland as part of my trip to Memphis for MLA. I knit HWJF a vest for Valentine’s Day that he will almost never wear because it’s “too orange”. I must have forgiven him because we announce that we’ll be moving in together when my lease expires. I get to meet the Yarn Harlot for the first time. Just before bassoon camp I start the first Summer of Socks (we had 75 knitters and 3 sponsors that first year!). After we return I finally move my blog to the current domain. And then I move to NJ permanently. We take a trip to Maine where I sort of officially meet his parents as “the girlfriend” for the first time. I skew the “boyfriend curse” and knit him his first sweater.

I take my first spinning class and end up buying my first wheel, a lendrum, at Rhinebeck that fall. I also start some of my first dyeing experiments. I do Thanksgiving dinner at our place for the first time and survive. I almost get mugged for the first time during the holidays. We spend Christmas in Maine and I get acquainted with more of his family.

2007
We start the year with one of our trademarked crazy tours of New England with several yarn store stops and a lot of spinning. My friend Jill comes to visit and we get to show her some of NYC and NJ.

I go back to Pittsburgh for MLA. I get to see the Yarn Harlot again, this time at FIT in NYC. I get my Woolee Winder and there’s a lot more spinning going on. We head to bassoon camp again in May and make our first trip to Bovidae Farm. I take my first dyeing class. After never having been to Philly we end up going 3 times! We bought our GPS around this time and I still swear it’s one of the best investments we’ve ever made. My Mom get’s her new dog Sandy and I decide I need to knit her a sweater but don’t get to it until much later. We head to Maine again and my Mom has her gall bladder out and ends up getting admitted overnight. We make a commitment to see some things we’ve never seen in NYC this summer which helps me write what is probably the most fun blog post I’ve ever done. I enter some spinning in the NJ Sheep and Wool festival judging and bring home some ribbons!

I go to Rhinebeck again and come home with a used Matchless. We spend Thanksgiving in Maine and I see my first live Moose! I get to hear my first opera at the MET thanks to my boss. Christmas is spent at my folks’ place and they give me the Woolee Winder for my Matchless.

2008
This year starts with a bang since HWJF gets a promotion and we move to Northern NJ with less than a week’s notice. I head to Newport, RI for MLA this time around and get to meet a lot of wonderful knitters. I hit the big 3-0 and HWJF surprises me with a huge present. Not too long after that, we welcome a new member to our family!

I attend my first MDS&W and get to see new and old friends and purchase my first fleece. We head to bassoon camp again and I have my new Ladybug sent directly there. HWJF gets his first spinning lesson while we’re at camp. I start dyeing in earnest when we get home and finally open my etsy shop. We host our first 4th of July BBQ at our new place since we finally have a yard. We attend 4 weddings and nearly die of the heat when the AC dies and we have to drive home from Pittsburgh in 95+ degree heat. We also spend some time in Maine and start solidifying our love of Portland. I attend my first WOOL in Lake George. I buy a giant drum carder after selling my Lendrum and have a booth at the NJ Sheep and Wool Festival for the first time. HWJF attends his first Rhinebeck and enjoys it!

We also take our first hike at what will become the site of our wedding. Little do I know he asks my parents’ permission to marry me that weekend. Sairy and Sharon buy their Ladybugs at my urging and don’t look back.

The US elects its first black president and I literally cry with joy as I watch the election returns come in. We end the year with Christmas in Maine and the first trip I’ve had to Webs in ages.

2009
And finally we come to this year, which has been one of big highs and big lows and big life changes. We started off with an awesome little getaway to Portland where we enjoy art and snow and all things wonderful about Maine. I complete my first steeked sweater with a little help. I finally found a studio that I love and return to yoga classes. Then we head for Chicago for MLA and I get the best surprise ever.

Shortly after announcing our engagement, we quickly come back to earth when I find out that I’ll need surgery for a very serious condition I was completely unaware that I had. My health situation is pretty much all consuming for the majority of the year until my surgery on May 11th. After a week in the hospital, I return home to finish my recovery which is helped immensely by our trip to bassoon camp. After 6 long weeks, I head back to work and while I’m still trying to process everything I’ve been through, life starts to get back to normal. We spend a weekend in Maine and I get to meet my future sister-in-law and her children and get to go to my first Rockland Lobster festival. After surgery I decide that my renewed commitment to the practice of yoga makes it the perfect time to start a teacher training program and I start in early September. All the while, the details of our wedding start falling into place. We spend a wonderful Thanksgiving in Maine where our parents get to meet for the first time. And Christmas ends up at our house with just us and my parents.

What a decade and what a walk down memory lane this has been for me! Sorry it wasn’t exactly short. It’s amazing how much life can change in what seems like a very short time. This past year has probably been my most challenging yet. But despite what was a very frightening time in my life, I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for what was and I’m grateful for what will be. I would not be the person I am today without these experiences and I feel more prepared for whatever may come in the future after looking back on this bit of my past.

Most of all, I’m looking forward to 2010. This will be such an important year for us both in so many ways. I’ll graduate my teacher training in June and then it’s on to our wedding in October. The promise of a new adventure is always exciting.

I wish you much joy and happiness in 2010!! Peace!!

… and I’m still at work. Ah well. Such is life.

Let’s get the unhappy stuff out of the way. I found out this morning that my dear friend and future bridesmaid Jill’s grandmother passed away last night after a short illness. Please keep Jill and her family in your thoughts if you would. It’s such a difficult time of year to loose someone you love. I am heartbroken for my dear friend and sad that I can’t be there to hug her in person.

In happier news I managed to finish the socks for my Future Mother-in-law in time to mail them off to Maine.

FMIL Socks

Pattern: Diagonal Lace Socks by Wendy D. Johnson from “Socks from the Toe Up”
Yarn: J.Knits Superwash me sock in Connecticut (oh the irony!)
Needles: US 1
Knit: 12.8-12.16.09
Mods: Several! I didn’t have an exact foot measurement so I purled the purl stitches in the pattern on the knit rows to give it more of a “ribbed” effect in case they were too big. I also took out two stitches so that I knit the top of the foot on 33 sts and the bottom on 31. I did a heel flap instead of doing the pattern as written since that’s my standard and I needed to knit these quickly.

As with all Wendy patterns, this was a great pattern to knit. I’m glad I finally got to knit something from her book! The yarn makes a lovely fabric but was splity enough that I don’t think I’d buy another skein. I prefer a much more solid twist.

The holiday knitting officially ended this week. I’ll finally be able to show you a few more of the things I knit next week. I’ve been missing my wheels and hope to get back to them in the near future. Right now, I’m enjoying knitting *without* a deadline. I started the Red Rings Pullover after Thanksgiving and here’s where I’m at now.

Of course I keep thinking “wouldn’t it be nice to have another finished sweater before the end of the year?!”. Yes. I haz the crazy.

Now I’m sure you are dying to know that our tree decorating efforts were successful.

HWJF did the hardest part of getting the thing in the stand and vertical all by himself. I got this picture in an e-mail while at work with the subject “Thanks for the cat grass Mom!!’

Knock on wood, she’s been pretty good with it so far.

We decorated it together which was a little weird in one respect since all the decorations were mine, but kind of fun too because I got to tell HWJF all the stories behind them. And I managed to only cry twice. Here are a couple of quick pics I took of some of my favorites.

There are several with musical themes as you might expect.

And of course there must be a bassoon!

I’m pretty sure my Mom made this one. The center is styrofoam and the decorations are placed with straight pins.

My mother’s mother started a tradition of buying me a new ornament every year when I was a kid. My mom has kept it up since she died in 1990. I have a *lot* of ornaments. This one I always find particularly sweet.

And we must have the bubble lights!

And with that my friends I will wish you all a very happy holiday season. Enjoy your celebrations in whatever form they take, hold your loved one’s close, remember those that have left us with happiness to honor their time in our lives and look forward to the new happiness and new challenges the future will hold.

May you be happy.
May you be safe.
May you be healthy.
May you be at peace.

It’s just not worth it. You all know how it is.

Since my last blog post I -

- Had another teacher training weekend which involved actually teaching a 20 min. flow for the first time. That went much better than I expected. I almost feel like I could actually do this at some point. We also had our prenatal day which was rather challenging for my delicate psyche. I had to do yoga for an hour with a pillow strapped to my gut. If that wasn’t weird enough we then had to do a mediation which involved imagining being in the middle of an ocean and unable to see the shore. Those that know me know that I wouldn’t call that relaxing. Chest pains ensued, but I managed to survive. All in all though, a really interesting weekend.

- Then proceeded to come down with some weird 3 day stomach thing. Not fun.

- Managed to get through the week and a couple of yoga classes. Then had to get a certain bunny her well overdue haircut.

Before:

After:

We even managed to get done before midnight for once!

- Then it was time for a big weekend in NY. Which started with the Subaru not starting. Good times. Luckily we threw everything in my car and still managed to get to our appointment with a wedding photographer in time. Also luckily, since several people don’t seem to be capable of returning an e-mail or a phone call, we liked him enough to book him.

- Went to the jeweler to pick up new sparkly things. More on that another time.

- Went to Red Lobster with my folks for my Mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday Mom!! Finally was able to give my Mom this:

Isn’t it beautiful?! Made especially for my Mom by the ever fantastic Opal over at Opalescentjewels. Go get yourself or someone you love some pretties for the holidays!!

- Got decorations from my parents and acquired Christmas tree that has yet to make its way into the house. I may have upwards of 12 people here for Christmas dinner. I’ve never put up a tree without my parents. This should be interesting.

- Drove back to NJ (or should I say, HWJF drove us back to NJ) in an ice/freezing rain/sleet/snow/godknowswhat storm. It usually takes us 1.5 hrs. to get back from my parent’s house. It took us 4 yesterday. Good times. NOT!

- And oh yeah, lots of knitting!!! Some FO’s will have to wait but here are a couple that I can share..

Grandpa’s Christmas Socks 2009

Pattern: 3×1 rib
Yarn: Lorna’s Laces Shepherd Sock Multi in Black Watch
Needles: size 1
Knit: 11.1-12.5.09

Simple ribbed socks for my Grandpa. I hope they keep him warm this winter.

Un-purled Cables Cowl

Pattern: Un-purled Cables
Yarn: Baby Alpaca Grande
Needles: Size 11
Knit: 12.8.09

A one day quicky cowl! Gotta love that when it comes to gift knitting. Hopefully a co-worker of mine will love it too.

And finally…

Swirl Cowl

Pattern: Swirl Cowl
Yarn: Plymouth Suri Merino
Needles: size 7
Knit: 12.6-12.7.09

Another quick knit for a co-worker gift. I really liked this yarn. The blend of merino and alpaca gives it a nice hand that I think will make a very cozy and warm cowl.

I have one more Christmas gift I’m desperately trying to finish in the next day or two. Wish me luck since it really needs to go in the mail soon!

And now I fear, dear reader that if I do not step away from the computer and start thinking about bed, the time will slip me by and getting up tomorrow will be all the more difficult. Now that the car is fixed ($300 later. Oye.) things this week are looking up a bit but are still busier than heck. I’m trying not to think about everything that needs to be done when it comes to cleaning, decorating, teacher training, an actual paying gig on the bassoon and the regular day job and…

Oh wait. I’m not thinking about that!

Goodnight!

So as usual lately my good intentions to get to the blog have not been fulfilled. I hope those of you that celebrated Thanksgiving last week had a great holiday. Ours was particularly special this year because HWJF and I went to Maine and my parents went along with us so they could meet his parents for the first time! We were a bit nervous about how things would go (I think we all were!) but we ended up all having a fantastic holiday! We made sure to make the requisite stop at LLBean on the way up.

I wish the picture quality was better on that but it was kind of raining and gross out so I’m glad we got anything at all. Mom wanted to get a sweater for Sandy so we snuck her in the store to try things on. We were asked to take her out but they let us try on sweaters real quick. Just as we were getting ready to take her out but still be discreet, she started barking at one of the fake dogs in the area! Hilarious!! So much for keeping our cover!

Thanksgiving itself was definitely a feast to behold. HWJF’s parents are used to having a big crowd and they always do an amazing job of things. There were 18 people at dinner! The center piece of the meal is always my future father-in-law’s hand raised turkey.

31 pounds (yes that’s 31 pounds!) this year and absolutely delicious as always. My Dad definitely went in for seconds, maybe thirds on that bird.

I wish I had thought to take more pictures during our visit but that’s about all I have. We ended things up with a lobster dinner for the 6 of us Friday night that was also amazing. I remember getting a little misty eyed at one point because I was just so happy to see his parents and mine getting along so well. We both mentioned to each other that it was very nice to have a holiday where neither of us had to miss our parents. After this trip we’re definitely looking forward to our wedding next year even more than we were before. I am constantly overwhelmed by how much we have to be thankful for this year.

Speaking of that, a quick story about an amazing experience I had last night. My surgeon’s office called me last night to ask me a favor. Apparently they had another young woman that needed to have the same procedure that I had in their care and she had asked if she could talk to someone that had gone through the same procedure. I had told them before I left my last appointment that if anyone ever asked to talk to someone, I’d be more than happy to share my experience. I quickly told the nurse that I’d still be happy to talk to this person. I received a text message a short time later asking me to call and telling me that her surgery was December 21st. I immediately called her back and we had a nice chat. I could totally hear in her voice the same fear and anxiety that I had just over 6 months ago. We talked about the procedure and pain management and recovery and those crazy release forms that make you think you are totally not going to come out of this thing alive, etc. etc. By the end of our conversation I think she was feeling better about her chances and the skill of the team that would be getting her through this. At least I hope so. I’m just so happy that I had the opportunity to “pay it forward” so to speak and do the same thing for someone else that someone had been kind enough to do for me. I’m grateful to be on the other side of the phone this time and I hope that she will be able to do the same sometime in the future too. Please keep Josephine in your thoughts on Dec. 21st. She’s going through a very hard thing right now but I know she’ll be ok on the other side, just like me.

In other news, I’ve been knitting, but most of it I can’t show you (Hi Mom! ). I can show you this pair of socks I’m making for my Grandpa:

Lorna’s Laces in Black Watch. Fairly boring 3×1 rib that I stole from Annie when she was at my house last and I saw her knitting some socks (Hai Annie! ). My Christmas knitting list is “down” to 2 cowls, a hat, and another pair of socks.

And there’s a certain fluffy bunny that needs a haircut.

Anyone know how I can find a few more hours in the day?!?