My surgery is set. We have to be up at an unholy hour to get to the hospital on time tomorrow. I’m as mentally and physically ready to do this as I possibly can be I think. It’s time to get this done.
I want to use this post to remind myself of the state that I want to come back to. You see, we found out about my condition less than two weeks after we got engaged. We were so amazingly happy. I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy before. It was crazy.
And then it all came crashing down all too soon. We’ve been through a lot. I continue to joke that I really didn’t mean to test out the whole “for better or for worse, in sickness or in health” thing *before* we got hitched. But if this experience has confirmed anything for me, it’s that I’ve made the right choice in my life partner. I can’t wait for the day that we get to celebrate our decision amongst those we love the most.
So that’s what I want to carry with me in my next step in this experience. My energy will be focused on healing quickly and returning to that joy and happiness we had before all this happened. I even have a few pictures to remind me.
I took these the day before I found out about my condition and never got to post them. This is the sweater that will forever be known as The Engagement Sweater since it’s the one that I found my ring on.
I also just happened to be wearing it when I was told about my condition. At the time it filled me with sorrow because I thought I had ruined the memories that I would forever associate with it, but thinking back on it I’m glad that I was wrapped in a garment that was infused with more love than I ever thought possible when I was told one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to hear in my life.
Now that I think about it, it may just have to come to the hospital with me, even if I can’t wear it.
See those smiles? That’s what I will return to when I get back. That’s the joy I’m going to capture again. When this is over I’ll be able to return to that feeling and really start planning the day when it will all come together. I’m so very lucky to have so much to look forward to after all this is done.
Your continued good thoughts and well wishes in the coming days are greatly appreciated. Please also think of HWJF and my parents. As difficult as this will be for me, standing by and watching it all happen will be as difficult, if not more so.
I’m ready. Let’s do this.
See you soon!
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